Welcome to Naked Barbieland!

24 01 2009


I’vve discovered an odd phenomenon in my house, and maybe those of you who are the parents of girls can corroborate. It seems as though any Barbie doll who crosses our threshold is destined to be nude. It doesn’t matter what costume she is wearing, how beautiful my daughter swears the doll is, and how badly she wants it, that Barbie will soon be nude. What is that about? I’ve tried begging with her (“please, honey, leave her dress on”), threatening (“if that dress comes off, so help me, that doll is going to someone who will appreciate her”), and even negotiating (“if you leave the dress on, I’ll buy Barbie her very own Dream ‘Vette”). It makes no difference. Perhaps I should consider upping the ante?

Speaking of The Baby, I had an afternoon most parents can only dream of…NOT! Hubs has been very sick with the flu this weekend, so I offered to take her with me to the grocery store so he could enjoy a little peace (Mind you, the Big Kid was up to her elbows in chores I gave her earlier as a punishment for an early morning infraction. Grrrr!). So off The Baby and I went to the grocery store. She’s been home with an ear infection since Thursday, so she was very happy to finally be out of the house. Once we got to the store, she changed modes from quiet and bored to chatty and loud. We were going down the cereal aisle when she saw a guy with a kind face, long hair, and a beard, and shouted, “HI JESUS!” At that point, I prayed that the floor would open up and swallow me. Luckily, the guy had a good sense of humor and laughed it off. The rest of the trip was uneventful, at least until it was time to check out. She had a meltdown over the candy display (in her defense, it was a huge barrel-like-container that was on her level and full of chocolate), then she was mad that she didn’t get a sticker and that Mean Mommy wasn’t going to reward her bad behavior by hunting down an unwitting cashier and get him/her to give this screaming child a sticker. Then, she really “showed” me by refusing to hold my hand in the parking lot, screaming that she didn’t want to go home, and then standing her ground in the middle of the parking lot. I hauled her howling self to the car, much to the shocked expressions of my fellow shoppers, cringing at the knowledge that at least one of them probably assumed I was some derranged kidnapper. And she wonders why she got a looooong timeout once we got home.

Seriously, between demanding 3 year olds and a sick Hubby, I’m pretty much done for the weekend! And don’t even ask about the Big Kid! That’s a whole entry in and of itself!

Oh…and in case it ever comes up in conversation, bad, bad things come up when you Google the term “naked barbie.” Just a little tip from me to you!


Riddle Me This

13 01 2009


For those of you who don’t follow me on Facebook or LinkedIn (shame on you!), I am now an official source of knowledge. I received a call yesterday from a reporter at msnbc.com (thanks to my pal Kelby at Type-A Mom) for a story she was writing on the dangers of using Vicks Vapo Rub on little kids. For the record, I am pro-Vicks, when used correctly. Read all about it here. While I’m thrilled to have been asked, I’m a bit disturbed and perplexed. Apparently, the national media now considers me a credible source because I have a child and a blog, never mind that I could, in theory, be some random crackpot. Ah, the power I wield just by having a vagina! Now, if only I could solve that whole women-making-78-cents-to-every-dollar-a-man-makes-for-the-same-job thing!

Since I have been out of work a whopping two weeks now, I have finally had the time to think about who I want to be and the image I want to project as a professional, which, of course, screams makeover. As a marketing maven, I prefer to refer to this as “personal branding.” However, it has finally dawned on me that as a woman, I am constantly in a state of reinvention – for a new job, new man, etc. – and, perhaps I don’t know the authentic me as well as I should. Is it possible that we all renovate ourselves on such a regular basis that we lose touch with our true selves? Did I mention that I have way too much time on my hands?

Since I have all of this free time, I have been putting it to good use – and Hubs’s waistline is reaping the benefits! I’ve been cooking quite a bit and am in the midst of deciding what I want to make tomorrow for dinner. I could go relatively healthy with a white bean-chicken chili concoction or go in a more interesting direction with mini burgers. Mind you, I’d have to bake the buns myself since I have a specific bread type in mind, plus I have limited fixins, so this could be a bit of a challenge. Any thoughts?

Finally, I’m still having trouble adding pictures to my post now that WordPress has updated their interface. Maybe it’s just my craptastic computer? What I need for this blog is a sponsor – someone who will litter my beautiful little blog with their garish
logos, but give me a really sweet new laptop in exchange for the free advertising. Any takers?