A Rare Moment of Reflection

23 03 2008

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a friend, D, who is having one of the hardest years of her life. Her beloved husband died not even six months ago. As she has struggled to come to terms with that and to forge ahead, her grandma died last week and then her son’s girlfriend (who is the mother of her granddaughter) died a couple of nights ago from an accidental overdose.

When things like that happen, I have to wonder how much suffering is the human spirit truly capable of surviving. I, too, have been through years like the one D is having. I have had those soul-crushing moments where I’ve repeatedly asked God why He chose me, of all people, to suffer so much and I’ve listened patiently for an answer that never seems to come. I’ve seen many of my friends go through truly hellish situations – infertility, illness, and family deaths. Why does it seem like certain people are chosen to suffer again and again and again?

And at what point does the healing truly begin? Will we even know when the emotional carnage has dealt its final card and we are finally allowed to breathe- burden-free and fearless, finally, that it’s over and that the soul may finally emerge from its coccoon and fly free like a brilliant butterfly on a sunny April afternoon?

On a far cheerier note, today is baking and cleaning day, so I’m headed off to the kitchen soon to make devilled eggs and cinnamon rolls for tomorrow. Now that I think about it, it’s just as well that my recipe for cinnamon rolls makes 2 dozen because I’m fairly certain that the hubs won’t be able to stay away from the rolls for that long!




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