Taunted By My Lunch

Today, Hubs got me a piece of cracktastic ecstacy known as a Lean Cuisine flatbread melt thingie for lunch (and potato chips to go with it, but we won’t go there!). So I was looking forward to it all morning. When lunch rolled around, I grabbed my little box out of the freezer, ripped and rolled back, per the directions. But when it came time to break the damned thing out of the plastic, it just wasn’t happening. Seriously, I could hear it snickering, “work for it, fatty!” That’s why they call it Lean Cuisine – you can’t open it, hence the lean part because there is no cuisine happening if you can’t break the f*cker out of the package! For the record, I love these things, although my last experience wasn’t so great – another “yeah, right, you’re going to open this” experience followed by boiling-lava-hot bleu cheese sauce dripping down the front of my black blouse and staining it a la Monica Lewinsky. I’m pretty sure my lunch laughed at me that day with a hearty, “neener, neener, neener!” I should have known better!

Hubs is still having issues. He hates his job and is getting sucked into the mentality of how hopeless it is and that he’s never going to do any better. I try to buoy him, but it’s not working. Does anyone else have a depressed spouse/SO? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Last night, he accused me (after having stood up for myself and telling him that I was not going along with another one of his harebrained schemes he only comes up with in a fit of desperation, of wanting to leave him. Where did that come from? I’m pretty sure those words never escaped my lips! And just because he came up with it, that doesn’t make it a good idea!

Off the Wagon, Dang It!

Yep, I’m smoking again. But, before you scold me, can I just say that I picked the absolute WORST week ever to quit smoking? Hubs is still going through his whatever and he’s trying to figure out who and what he wants to be when he grows up…between bitching about his job, bitching about money, and giving up in general because of the hopelessness of it all. So, really, what do I do? Pick a calmer time to try to quit? Or keep up with my current quit effort with the help of my soon-to-be-BFF, Nicorette? I’m just so tired of being angry with him all the time – had he actually put in a decent effort in finding a job, we wouldn’t be in this mess. He’s always looking for a quick fix, rather than weighing his decisions carefully and realizing that today’s quick fix could quickly become a nightmare in the span of a few short weeks.

Today, I was home with the kidlets and I’m amazed there wasn’t a homicide. The SD still hasn’t grasped the fact that she’s the kid and that we’re the adults. She helps herself to our stuff and ruins it, tries to tell us where she’s going, rather than asking. But the coup de gras would have to have come this afternoon. After I made her ask if she could go to her friend’s house (for the record, I said yes, but only AFTER she cleaned her room), she huffed up to her room to clean. After she’d been upstairs for about 3 hours, I went up to see what was going on. She didn’t do anything. So, she was grounded today – no computer, movies, or leaving the house for any unsanctioned activity. I even had her cleaning the baseboards and windows to get rid of dog snot. Sadly, I don’t think she’s ever going to realize that she’s not in charge, which always makes for interesting power struggles.

Right now, I’m baking banana bread and it smells soooo good!

All I Really Need to Know in Life I Learned This Week

So here’s a rundown of the valuable life lessons learned this week:

1.) If you’re a jackass when you drink, there is no amount of liquor that will make you less so. And when a friend’s spouse is annoyed with you for something assy you said or did, it is not a good idea to drunk dial said spouse to plead your case and try to get back in their good graces. Especially when you’re drunk to the point of forgetting said spouse’s name. And definitely not a good idea if you’re even the slightest bit belligerent when intoxicated.

2.) Even when the “empty” light is not on, if your gas gauge is on “E,” you are out of gas. Period.

3.) Hot dogs, no matter how finely diced, do not belong in your nose.

4.) Do not rely on the “recall email” function to save your ass when you reply to a client’s email with the cute, flip humor you’re known for, when you actually meant to FOWARD that email to a co-worker.

5.) Those personality quirks you found charming in your spouse when you were dating? Yeah, they’ll make you want to stab him/her in the eye with a pencil when you’re trying to quit smoking.

6.) After day 4, it’s not the nicotine I crave, so much as the routine I had (remember I’m very set in my ways, so even tiny upsets to my normal behavior patterns can be upsetting).

Hope this helps as you wend your way through this crazy maze we call life. Any questions? See the guy in the kitchen. I’ll be out back, taking a smoke break (just kidding!).

Speaking of quitting smoking, I’m on day 6, but I did cheat yesterday. Just once and I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I felt dizzy and nauseous, plus I couldn’t stop coughing. It was like my lungs were saying, “what are you doing to us? We don’t like this! We were clean and now look at what you’ve done!” Kinda sounds like me when I’m trying to serve the kids lunch and NOT have the dining room look like a bomb went off.

On this weekend’s agenda – the budget, hiding from the kids, and latest challenge from the Daring Bakers. This one’s going to take a while, but it’s going to be sooooo good!

Life Lesson Learned Tonight

If you’re going to make an ass of yourself and tick off a friend’s spouse by being an idiot when you drink, then don’t drunk dial said spouse in an attempt to get back in their good graces. Just trying to help! It actually happened tonight and it was quite surreal.

I think I may have landed on The Haircut.

How to wear it now:
Make sure your ends reach your shoulders (if your hair is curly, they should fall just past your shoulders to compensate for shrinkage). Then lightly razor the tips so that they flip a bit, says Rodney Groves, a stylist for Kerastase at Vartali Salon in New York (he created the looks here). What you don’t want: the blunt-cut, overly “round” bob favored by your local weatherwoman.

How to style:
Run mousse through damp hair, then blow-dry with a paddle brush. Finish with smoothing cream.

MC recommends:
Sebastian Originals Threads Cream

So what do you think? Likey? No likey?

Two posts in one day? Gawd, I’m a total post whore!

I’m Not Gonna Lie to Ya…

I’m in hell, I truly am. I have now been smoke-free for almost 48 hours and I’m not liking it very much. Yes, it’s better for me, blah, blah, blah, but, quite frankly, I’m about ready to french kiss some random stranger who’s standing on a street corner smoking so I can suck the smoke out of their lungs. Fun, huh? I keep trying to remind myself that I did not quit smoking (sounds like I’m forbidden to smoke and that’s no good!), but that I choose not to smoke (much more empowering that way!).

Yesterday, the cravings were short, frequent, and intense. Today, there are fewer of them, but they’re longer and even more intense. Supposedly, tomorrow is the worst of it, but once I’ve made it 72 hours, all of the nicotine is out of my system and the worst is behind me. We’ll see. I’d really love to be done with smoking. It’s just not as cool as it once was, you know? People now look at smokers with disgust as they cough and wheeze. Plus, it’s expensive and smokers just aren’t the best-smelling people in the world as they flaunt their basic disregard of common sense when it comes to their health. Maybe I should become one of those self-righteous non-smokers. That would be cool! Seriously, it wouldn’t suck to succeed at something difficult and be proud of myself, right?

In other news, I’m trying to make sense of one of the interns who just did not want to do what we asked him to. He whined and made every possible excuse why he couldn’t do it, until we finally gave up and told him to forget it. I really don’t get it. When I interned, I did everything my boss asked me to because it was a connection to my field and I wanted that person to one day give me a job (he did). It’s just what you do. It’s called paying your dues, so what gives?

Not much else today, but I am trying to decide on a haircut. My hair is way too long and I can’t do anything with it. Besides, I can use what was my cigarette money for a trip to the salon and Hubs can’t give me any crap about it! Think I can also squeeze in a manicure? Think of the money I’m saving! I think I may use that same line of logic and save up for a nice Coach purse in a few months. Wish me luck on that! I deserve it! This purse and I are meant to be together!

A Change Will Do Me Good!

I’ve been doing some thinking and have finally decided that it’s time to quit smoking. Certainly, it is cost-prohibitive, but I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just not someone I wish to be. I’m tired of coughing, smelling like smoke, being out of breath when I climb a flight of stairs, and I’d like to be around long enough to see my grandchildren grow up. Besides, some of my least favorite people in this world are smokers and I don’t want to be anything like them!

This weekend was Startup Weekend Columbus, which is basically a conference where people from all professional walks of life get together to develop hypothetical companies. Friendships are born, cards are handed out, and there’s always a chance that a viable company will actually form. Some may call it nerdy, bit I think it’s a really cool concept and I can’t wait for SWC2 this fall!

Long weekend with the kids. Lots of whining today and I was ready to lock them both up for a while, but I guess you will have that! I signed up the Baby for swimming lessons today, so I’m really looking forward to her enjoying the water as much as I do! We’ve been spending a lot of time at the pool lately and I hope that will continue for many years.

My newest addiction these days is Twitter, which is essentially a running dialogue. It’s fun, a great way to meet people, and utterly cracktastic. Should you ever find yourself on there, tweet me @sbarton1220. I’d love to hear from you!

Coming soon…the latest Daring Bakers challenge. I’m sure I can’t say what it is yet, but it sounds like it will be a lot of work, which is always a tad daunting, but it sounds really yummy, so I’m looking forward to it!

Early morning tomorrow. I have a 7:30 call for a shoot, so it will be a long day, I’m sure!

No news on the car as Hubs tries to scrape up money to get it fixed. I’ve really had more than enough of this sharing-a-car thing!

Tomorrow is Another Day

So, today we had quite the financial scare, but I’m happy to report that it’s resolved for now. Luckily, it was enough of a wake-up call to shock Hubs out of the funk he’s been in and finally get his head in the game. Needless to say, we’re taking a guerilla approach to our finances, organization, and life, in general. However, things are looking up. Why? Because they have to, and that’s all there is to it.

Not that you asked, but I’m telling you now that GWTW is unequivocally the GREATEST. MOVIE. EVER.

Anything else new? Not really, but if you’d like constant updates, feel free to look me up on Twitter and become my homie. Work is good. Great, actually. And the Baby is doing great, too. She’s a genius at 3, I tell ya!

After all of this drama, I’m ready for a drink. Anyone else?

Blech!

The past couple of days have filled me with nothing but an overwhelming sense of ickiness. Hubs has decided he doesn’t like his new job after all and he’s still sick, so he’s been complaining non-stop for the past few days. So, what do I do? Make the “get your shit together” speech again? Suffer in silence and hope he straightens out? I just don’t know anymore. I’m just tired of all of the stress and drama. I want stability and happiness. I would love for him, just once, to ask about me – how was my day? How am I doing?

On an up-note, I have a new office and it’s beautiful! It’s open and airy with large windows and I have tons of room. I feel so relaxed there and I have privacy. It’s truly my little sanctuary, even though it doesn’t have a door and it’s open, rather than being completely enclosed. I think I like it better this way. Boy, am I going to be pissed if they make me move again anytime soon! I can actually create in there! My old space was so dark and depressing, so I can’t imagine going back there again! I’m still in the process of trying to figure out how I want to decorate. I’d kind of like to make it a girlie palace (feel free to send me pretty stuff!), but that might be a little too precious. Regardless, I’m planning to keep fresh flowers on my desk as often as possible. Lately, I’ve been on a magnolia kick.

Also, have you noticed how many people are sick all of a sudden? What is that about?! In honor of the hilarity of it all, here is “the Man Cold” from the British show (rarely do I find British humor truly funny, so you know this has to be good!) “Man Stroke Woman.”

Happy 4th, Baybeez!

So today is the 4th of July. We’re not really doing much of anything today due to the rain. Booooo! But that’s okay. We’re going to a cookout at Lady Clarinet’s house and the kids will run wild while the mommies hang out in the kitchen and have cocktails. Good times! Hubs is helping out the Obama campaign today, signing up people to cote, etc. I’m so proud of him! This is the kind of thing he’s wanted to do for a long time and just never got around to actually getting involved. Speaking of things to be proud of, Hubs just got hired yesterday. No details to share just yet, but he should be starting soon, so the panic is finally over. We just have to wait out this last couple of weeks of abject poverty and then we should be in an okay lace again. Phew!